Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
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At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Let's paint friendship bongs
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize