Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
