Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
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