it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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