she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
