he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
