Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
