I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
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dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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