Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
