ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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