i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
4 words: hood of his car
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
my liver is dry heaving
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
