Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
