My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
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I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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