its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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