Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
that is very illegal...i love you.
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