Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
