He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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