Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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