i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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