"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
