those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
