i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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