your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
