But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
