Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
