Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
