p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
