im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
