dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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