careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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