So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I think my moral compass just broke
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
