Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
