You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
