I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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