maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
