her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
