you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Buhtt sex?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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