Jerry, you need to find god
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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