OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
He felt like a one man threesome
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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