I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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