No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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