Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
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