i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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