VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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