thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
