then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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