i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
