You really coming over, don't trick.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
