Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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