And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
