girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
