i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
