When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
