I cockslap morals
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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