Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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