I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
