Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
