if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
