I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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